Clarity

Every year on New Years Eve, I write down what I would like to manifest in the next, new 365 days. I also choose a word and write it down on the same piece of paper. This word encapsulates what I am working on, what I want to achieve, and what I want to live into in the next, new 365 days. At midnight, I burn the note giving it up to the smoke and fire, burning the words in prayer for divine guidance and nurturing along the way.

This year, I chose "Clarity" as my word. 

In choosing clarity, it was clear to me that I could not, under any circumstances, avoid writing any longer. I had to let the words out. Yes! I had to let my words out. You see, I've wanted to be a writer since I was small. I've wanted to write children's books, screenplays, novels, magazine articles, newspaper columns, monologues, and short stories. I've wanted to write, and equally as important, I've wanted to be read. These have been my most precious dreams.

You may say, well, why haven't you? What's the problem? What are you waiting for? To be honest, I've been in jail. A jail of my own making. A jail where the warden's name is Fear and the assistant warden's name is Low Self Confidence. A jail that harbors nasty, soul-stripping thoughts of: I'm not good enough, I can't do it, people won't like my writing, people won't like me. Alone in my cell, my only writing has been in my journal, for my eyes only. I write prolifically but I am not read, never read. In choosing clarity, I choose to break free from my jailor. I choose to bolster my self confidence and face my fear head on. I choose to write and I choose to share my writing. Take that fear! You don't rule me anymore. You can't stop me any longer. I win. Ha! 

Thus, Mamma Boo was born.

It wasn't born overnight, I mean I didn't upload my first post until February 11, but it WAS born and that's the point. Once I decided to blog, it took a while to come up with the name. Quite a while in fact but then, in the car one day, singing a Dixie Chicks tune with Biddy in the backseat, Mamma Boo came to me. 

Why Mamma Boo? Three reasons.

1. I wanted to join the ranks of the mommy blogger. When I became a mom, my creativity bloomed and I owe my inspiration to Biddy. I love writing about him and our family adventures and therefore think being classified a mommy blogger is perfect. Also, mommy bloggers are a cool, hip, sharp, honest, interesting, humble, eloquent, savvy, compassionate, and funny group of women. Sounds like my kind of crowd and right where I belong.

2. Boo is Biddy's word for bear. He has his "Lovey," his blanket that sleeps with him every night. He also has his teddy bear, well, his half a teddy bear anyway. It's a puppet of sorts. The bear has a sweet face and outstretched arms but in place of legs, he has a blanket sewn around his waist serving as a demure skirt. The skirt is the same soft satin-y fabric that Biddy's Lovey is made from. When he decided that this bear was his second most favorite sleeping must-have, B dubbed it "Lovey Bear" which then Biddy translated to "Lovey Boo". It has been Lovey Boo ever since. 

3. I love the mother bear association as I love animal symbology. The mother bear is a fierce warrior when protecting her young. I feel fierce as I write. She gives birth during her winter hibernation and as spring approaches, once the young are strong enough, mother and cubs emerge. Launching Mamma Boo is my emergence.