Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Word or Two About the Playground

Biddy and I went to the playground this morning. As we parked the stroller, I surveyed the scene and the routine. Both are familiar. 

It wasn't crowded and it won't be until around 3pm when school lets out. There are bunches of mommies, nannies and kids but not many daddies. It's a different, chaotic story on the weekend but today is Tuesday. 

As I looked around, I thought, not for the first time, there have to be a bunch of cool moms here. Cool moms I don't know and probably won't know. Making friends with other moms at the playground is harder than one might think. 

Mommies with younger babies tend to congregate in the sandbox chitchatting while their children happily toss sand at each other, in the air and on themselves. Their kids either can't crawl or can't crawl fast so it makes mommy time possible and productive. Most of these mommies already know one another and have made a prearranged date to meet. They tend to keep to themselves even when Biddy moseys through scouting for toys. I understand. I remember this stage–the in-depth conversations about breast feeding, poop, sleep issues, and introducing solid food. I remember the bonding. It was all newborn all the time and we were in the same unchartered boat.

For the newly walking, it's a whole different game. Their moms never sit down. There goes one mom, and another, and then another following their babes as he or she teeters and twitters and wobbles and bobbles from one end of the playground to the other and back again. It doesn't make sense to try and have a play date with another mommy because with your child's legs in constant motion, idle conversation is less than ideal. More often than not, I see these solo mommies gulping air, with no time for words, as they play chase. When we got to this stage, my old sandbox friends were also busy running after their kids, so we would literally have to talk via cell phone (talk about wasted minutes!) from swing set, to jungle gym, to slide and wave as we zigzagged past one another. If I planned a play date, I would invite a friend who didn't yet have children or one who still carried her baby in a sling or Baby Bjorn. This way she was free to move with me and my Biddy walker. 

In the toddler set (my current set), mommies can sometimes mingle but not for long as we still play a fair amount of chase. Thankfully, a two-year-olds attention span is a smidgen longer than it was last month, so I'm able to get into a quick conversation with another mommy or nanny when Biddy stops, sparked curiously by their child. Unfortunately, this conversation is fleeting because in about five minutes flat, he's up and running, onto the next adventure. I might be able to get a word in edgewise with another parent whose toddler is also hightailing it up a ladder, climbing wall or rope bridge but my number one job isn't socializing at this point; it's performing spotter duties during these gravity-defying feats. Luckily, at this age, Biddy is also starting to play with other kids instead of just staring at them. As long as he has a car in hand, he loves running around with other boys who also clutch cars. This makes meeting new moms easier and pretty straightforward. "How old is your son? Do you come here often? When did his obsession with "all things that zoom" begin?" 

I might not get complete answers before Biddy is up and skipping in the opposite direction, but at least it's a foundation for the next time I circle the playground saying, "Hello again. Nice to see you. Wanna be playground friends? Oh, wait, ummm, I'll be back."
"Hey Biddy, wait up!"

2 comments:

  1. "For the people"... wow. Thank you for this one. It made my day as well. love, Chi

    ReplyDelete