A Day of Care

I dropped Biddy at daycare this morning. A rare occurrence these days indeed. When I lost my job, daycare became one of the first things to go, one of the first casualties in my unemployment war. I miss daycare. 

Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay-at-home mom, I love nurturing Biddy and caring for him 110% every second of the day, but it's extremely exhausting. At the end of the day, when B walks in the door–I'm done, kaput, a wet noodle, emotionally drained and creatively tapped. I'm ready for a massage, a margarita and a minute or two or twenty of complete silence and solitude. Ahhhh...bliss.

I had a dentist appointment today and therefore needed child care. "Hello, Meadow Daycare? Please take my pride and joy for 8 hours. Thank you!"

So far my day has been lovely. I dropped Biddy off at 9 am. and drove to my favorite coffee shop, ordered myself a chai, parked my butt at a table and read for an uninterrupted hour. I'm really digging Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert–getting a lot out of it and highly recommend. I then drove over to the dentist enduring an exam. Teeth cleaned, I made my way to Java Beach (take the N Judah west, all the way to the beach, and get off). 

Here I sit happy, quiet, still and loving life amid the hustle and bustle of this high-traffic coffee joint. Every cell in my body needed a day to myself. 

I've been thinking a lot about work. I miss it. I miss having a job and commuting and going to the office and the camaraderie of co-workers. When I went back to work after 11 months of maternity leave (thanks B for taking care of us while I stayed home), I thrived. It took a bit of getting used to but get used to it I did. I'm the type of woman who needs to work. I love being a member of a creative team overseeing a project to completion. I need the stimulation.

That said, writing stimulates me–it ignites me and fuels me. Yesterday, I daydreamed I was sitting in the most beautiful home office with pale yellow walls and a huge bay window with sunlight streaming through. My desk was an old, large farm table like the one we used as our kitchen table when I was a kid. I had the latest and greatest Mac laptop and the largest and most fabulous flat screen monitor. And the best part? I was writing for a living! Really, actually, truly writing for a living. I was still an at-home mom giving most of my day to my child, but for about four hours of it, I gave myself to my words. I woke from my daydream knowing I had dreamed the same dream before. This time though, I knew when I woke that one day soon my dream would become a reality. Ahhhh...bliss.