I have only watched it a few times before because honestly I keep forgetting about it, but each time I catch it, I come away with some very cool, very needed piece of parenting advice.
This time I learned about the art of an effective time out.
In the episode, Jo was coaching a family with five kids. The mom had recently had cancer and was overwhelmed. The dad was checked out. The kids were out of control especially the youngest ones. Time outs were an issue so Jo wrote out her time out steps on a large piece of cardboard. I found it so helpful to see it visually. I wrote it down myself right after the show not on a large piece of cardboard but on a small sticky note.
1. Give a warning and if Biddy doesn't listen proceed swiftly to step 2.
2. Put Biddy in time out.
3. Give explanation of what he did wrong.
4. Set timer.
5. Give explanation again.
6. Have Biddy say he's sorry.
7. Hugs and Kisses all around.
Very helpful steps indeed.
The show also got me thinking about patience. My patience.
At one point the mom who pretty much does it all with very little help admitted that she needed to work on her patience. She said this in passing as she hauled one of her kids to their time out location, the naughty step. I hear ya sister! I think for the most part I have a pretty long fuse when it comes to Biddy but once it is set, it goes off quite quickly and powerfully.
Take the other day for example when Biddy bit me on the upper arm. We were playing and I went to tickle him and he grabbed hold with his teeth. Ouch. Double ouch.
In an instant my patience jumped right out our 3rd floor window. I grabbed him and faster than I thought possible, made it down the hallway to our time out location forcefully sitting Biddy down on the floor. He looked at me with a half-grin on his face waiting to see what I would do. Time outs haven't meant much to him. He puts himself in time out on a regular basis. Instead of scream (which is what my brain was telling me to do) I took a really big, really long, really needed, really deep deep breathe. As I exhaled I heard Jo's British accent reminding me about the steps. Follow the steps and you have a script to persevere. A script so you don't bite your Biddy back to let him know how much it hurts.
I took another deep deep breathe. I had already skipped step #1. Giving him a warning went right out the window with my patience but I think the egregious act warranted proceeding directly to a timely time out. I then took my arm out of my shirt sleeve showing Biddy the red angry mark as I calmly and crystal clearly explained again (we have been having issues with biting for several months now) that he couldn't under any circumstances bite. It was unacceptable. I then set the timer and walked into the other room to give myself a time out too. When the buzzer buzzed, I went back and again explained why he was in time out. He started to cry. He wanted to see my boo boo again. He said he was sorry. He gave me a big kiss and a bigger hug and then it was over.
We walked down the hall hand-in-hand. My patience restored.
I continue to follow the time out steps and am happy to report that although there have been a few time outs in the last few days none of them have been because of biting. The time out process has been smooth and effective. Thank you Supernanny. My patience doubly thanks you.
Supernanny < SuperMommy
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